Rowr!

December 29, 2008

8th post in a year! This is the best blog ever!!

Ahh, I amuse myself if nothing else… Which is fortunate, because really, there is nothing else.

There is not a meme, not a youtube video, not a recollection of an embarassing Christmas story to share on this warm day… just some chick sitting in front of a fan while her brain melts.

Braaaaaiinnnnssss
Feel them on my fingertips
Running down my windowpane

Hmmm… I was going to apologise to Belinda Carlisle for that, but google tells me she sang ‘summer rain’, which is not the song I am mangling here.

Oh my love, it’s you and that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart I’m always
Dancing with you in the summer brains

Erm. No. Just doesn’t really do it for me I’m afraid…

Wow, it took way too long to find the song I was thinking of… Something to do with songs that were written before search engines existed methinks. And y’know… it was a pretty obscure song too…

(Throw us a decent keyword next time Madonna!)

Endless Time-Wasting

July 15, 2008

I’ve found so many ways to procrastinate lately. There are so many things I should be doing, and yet I seem to end up doing other stuff instead…

Now, this is nothing new for me, but lately I seem to be taking it to all new proportions. It’s even started to affect my life, although mostly through just running late for stuff because I’m putting things off all the time…

And how do I procrastinate?

  • By messing about on the interwebs, often on StumbleUpon
  • By playing computer games, often of the horsey variety
  • By eating a bit too much (French Fry Pizza anyone??)
  • By organising things that don’t need organising (while ignoring things that really do need organising…)
  • Watching repeats of Whose Line Is It Anyway? (What? I like Colin and Ryan. I can’t believe I’ve only got into that show now after it’s been finished for about a decade.)

Strangely enough I don’t spend enough time procrastinating on this blog… Hmmm…

A time for quotes…

June 29, 2008

“What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires — desires of which he himself is often unconscious. If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way.” – Bertrand Russell

Badger Badger Badger

May 19, 2008

Ever seen a badger being rescued by a fireman?

See Cute Overload for details 🙂

This is nearly as old as the previous post, but I still had to share it 🙂

Mr CLARE (2.21 p.m.)—My question is to the Minister for Employment and Workplace Relations. Would the minister detail the waste and excessive promotional material associated with previous government policies? What steps are being taken to recycle that material?

Ms GILLARD—Yesterday the Prime Minister and I sought to ensure the destruction of the remaining Work Choices propaganda of the Howard-Costello government. We arranged for the recycling of 436,000 Work Choices booklets. We made sure that they were taken off to the recyclers so that they could be turned into things more useful—things like scribble paper for children. There were some suggestions from the media about other uses that these paper products could be put to, but I will not go there. But we did ensure that these booklets would be recycled. Of course, this was part of the $121 million propaganda blitz of the Howard-Costello government to try and sell its grossly unfair Work Choices laws, which stripped basic working conditions away from Australian families. We know that even that government thought it was best to start shredding these booklets, because 3½ million of them were in fact sent off to the recyclers before the election. The waste of taxpayers’ money was just amazing.

I have to say that I allowed myself to believe yesterday that the Prime Minister and I had brought an end to the scourge of Work Choices propaganda in this country, just as we are committed to bringing an end to the scourge of Work Choices itself. I had allowed myself to believe yesterday that we had achieved that goal, but overnight I have discovered more. Whilst the Four Corners program was exhibiting Liberal rats in the ranks, I found 100,000 Work Choices propaganda mousepads lying around from the days of the Howard-Costello government. I am going to ask the House to help me with a very difficult issue here, which is this: one can easily recycle booklets; it is less clear what one can do to recycle mousepads. What I am committed to doing—

Mr Tuckey—Mr Speaker, I rise on a point of order. My point of order is this: to assist her in this matter, she can send them out with her free computers.

The SPEAKER—The member for O’Connor knows that that was not a point of order. A point of order is not an invitation for competing in comedy hour with the chair.

Ms GILLARD—Thank you, Mr Speaker. Can I reassure you that it is not my intention to scare small children through that distribution of these mousepads. They would obviously be very worried about their parents’ working conditions if this turned up at their school. I do have a dilemma, which is what to do with these 100,000 mousepads. It is my intention to send them to the supporters of Work Choices, so there are 65 on their way to the opposition members in the House of Representatives and there are 38 on their way to the opposition senators. Now I have 99,897 left and I cannot find another Work Choices supporter to send them to. If anybody has any suggestions about what to do with the remainder of the 100,000 mousepads, I would be very grateful to receive them. In sending these mousepads to the opposition today, I do not know if I have made an error, because I watched the press conference of the Deputy Leader of the Opposition at lunchtime today.

Mr Hockey—Mr Speaker, I rise on a point of order. Yesterday you raised the issue of using props in the chamber. Again the Deputy Prime Minister is using props. Unless she wants to play second row, I would ask her to put the props away.

Julia Gillard V Wilson Tuckey

Ms GILLARD – When I introduced the legislation today in the House, I did three things that the Howard government did not do in the last parliament. First, I brought a piece of workplace relations legislation to the parliament that has the mandate of the Australian people-

Applause from the gallery-

The SPEAKER-Order! The gallery will remain silent.

Ms GILLARD-The Howard government did not take Work Choices to the Australian people, because they knew it would be rejected. They snuck it in after the last election; they did not bring a piece of legislation to this parliament with the mandate of the Australian people.

Mr Tuckey – Mr Speaker, I raise a point of order. Is it now going to be your policy that the parliamentary chamber is going to be something like a football field and we are going to have cheer squads? We could bring some in, and maybe we should have some with flags. This roaring, chanting and clapping is not part of the processes of this place.

The SPEAKER-To the extent that the member for O’Connor is correct in his final statement, there have been certain events today where there has been interaction from the gallery. In the context of the matters before us, I think that was appropriate. But I remind everybody that, in the upholding of the dignity of this chamber, outbursts from the gallery should be minimised, and if they continue they will lead to people being invited to leave the gallery.

Ms GILLARD-I am sure we will all live in fear of the dimension of the member for O’Connor’s cheer squad when it turns up.

Mr Tuckey-Mr Speaker, on the point of order, I will pick some better looking ones than they have!

Will I ever grow out of it?

February 20, 2008

funny-pictures-raccoon-baseball-safe.jpg

Most people I know are over the whole lolcat thing, but me… well I just added ICHC to my blogroll…

As I write this today, I am a broken and humbled person. My dreams of worldwide culinary respect and adoration have been shattered like the hopes of a US presidential candidate without billionaire backers.

For those of you who weren’t present, here is an excerpt from last night’s episode of Mumble Bee’s Adventures in Dodgy Home Cookery

Attenborough-style voice over dude:

“And here we see two humans deeply involved in the task of assembling a dish for their dinner. On the kitchen bench we see all of the usual ingredients for nachos.

But wait… what’s this?

They’ve followed the usual recipe of adding corn chips to the plate, then topping them with a layer of mince, sauce and cheese on top, but contrary to the usual custom they’re still going! They’ve added another layer of corn chips followed by a layer of mince, sauce and cheese!”

I was pretty much convinced that our newly created ‘Nacho Lasagne’ dish was some kind of amazing world first. I was picturing it in the record books… (while somehow ignoring the fact that they probably don’t even have record books for the creation of new recipes.)

Sadly my dreams all came crashing down around me when I checked the internets just now to discover a plethora of recipes for various incarnations of ‘Mexican Lasagne’. Seems that people are once again proving to be more intelligent than I have given them credit for. It appears that there has been an underground movement of ‘Mexican Lasagne’ production in the works for some time…

But why was I unaware of this until now?

(I mean… clearly it’s not because my attention span for things to do with food is about as short as my attention span for thinking up decent analogies…)

Why are the joys of Nacho Lasagne not being celebrated worldwide?

There is something holding this dish back! And as I have not found any likely contenders in my incredibly extensive two minute google search, I must now proclaim it to be… invisible forces of evil!

Ok, so at this point I was planning to unwind a great plot involving secret government agencies, the twisted corporate interests of several well known multinational companies, and a few more of the usual ingredients employed by conspiracy theorist nutjobs, but the reality is that I’m getting hungry and I need to go buy coathangers.

So in an attempt to wrap this up in a manner somewhat approaching a neat conclusion, I will now do what everyone else does in a situation like this. I’ll blame Scientologists…