The great Mexican Lasagne Conspiracy of 2008

February 1, 2008

As I write this today, I am a broken and humbled person. My dreams of worldwide culinary respect and adoration have been shattered like the hopes of a US presidential candidate without billionaire backers.

For those of you who weren’t present, here is an excerpt from last night’s episode of Mumble Bee’s Adventures in Dodgy Home Cookery

Attenborough-style voice over dude:

“And here we see two humans deeply involved in the task of assembling a dish for their dinner. On the kitchen bench we see all of the usual ingredients for nachos.

But wait… what’s this?

They’ve followed the usual recipe of adding corn chips to the plate, then topping them with a layer of mince, sauce and cheese on top, but contrary to the usual custom they’re still going! They’ve added another layer of corn chips followed by a layer of mince, sauce and cheese!”

I was pretty much convinced that our newly created ‘Nacho Lasagne’ dish was some kind of amazing world first. I was picturing it in the record books… (while somehow ignoring the fact that they probably don’t even have record books for the creation of new recipes.)

Sadly my dreams all came crashing down around me when I checked the internets just now to discover a plethora of recipes for various incarnations of ‘Mexican Lasagne’. Seems that people are once again proving to be more intelligent than I have given them credit for. It appears that there has been an underground movement of ‘Mexican Lasagne’ production in the works for some time…

But why was I unaware of this until now?

(I mean… clearly it’s not because my attention span for things to do with food is about as short as my attention span for thinking up decent analogies…)

Why are the joys of Nacho Lasagne not being celebrated worldwide?

There is something holding this dish back! And as I have not found any likely contenders in my incredibly extensive two minute google search, I must now proclaim it to be… invisible forces of evil!

Ok, so at this point I was planning to unwind a great plot involving secret government agencies, the twisted corporate interests of several well known multinational companies, and a few more of the usual ingredients employed by conspiracy theorist nutjobs, but the reality is that I’m getting hungry and I need to go buy coathangers.

So in an attempt to wrap this up in a manner somewhat approaching a neat conclusion, I will now do what everyone else does in a situation like this. I’ll blame Scientologists…


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